{"id":113,"date":"2006-10-20T20:15:12","date_gmt":"2006-10-20T20:15:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.bananasplit.info\/?p=113"},"modified":"2008-10-08T17:16:42","modified_gmt":"2008-10-08T17:16:42","slug":"parking-theory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/?p=113","title":{"rendered":"Parking Theory"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a break of a year I’m now once more a regular attendee of St Mellion International Golf and Country Club<\/a>. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t play golf but they have the nicest gym, swimming and leisure facilities that I know of. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also a nice friendly place with polite staff and a relaxed atmosphere. It helps that I live within a mile of the place.<\/p>\n

The downside of a Golf and Country Club such as this is the unashamed display of wealth that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s on show in the car park. I swear there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little “My car\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s better than your car” competition going on. Fine by me, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got a 1995 Honda that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s starting to rust and the dogs have turned the interior into a dark shade of mud. If it stands out in the car park then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a wreck.<\/p>\n

Anyway, some of the players in the “My car\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s better than your car” game appear to have become anxious that their brand spanking Teutonic Travel-piece isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t being shown the attention it deserves from passers by. To overcome this lack of lustful looks, they have taken to parking them in the most ridiculous manner possible. This usually involves spreading it across two parking spaces or even in places that aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even marked out as parking spaces. The really important people have even taken to parking them right in front of the pedestrian exit between the car park and the main entrance. In this position their four-wheeled penis extension can no longer be ignored by anyone!<\/p>\n

Of course there are some cars that should be excused from this ridicule. Some of the cars are too big to actually fit within the marked parking spaces. These are the ones belonging to the super conscientious parents who have bought a vehicle that will be able to convey the children to primary school in even the most severe weather conditions. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m surprised that more people don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t join the 4×4\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ers. With our severe winters here in the extreme South-West of England, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s amazing other families make it through to Spring without a trusty Range Rover to get them to the supermarket.<\/p>\n

Yeah I know, some of you 4×4 owners are reading this and thinking I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got it all wrong. You didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t buy the \u00c2\u00a350k petrol guzzler to transport little Johnny to school or to fetch the shopping. You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even want to lay bare your wealth in front of the little people. You just bought one because your new extra-long putter wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fit it the boot of your BMW320i. DUH!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After a break of a year I’m now once more a regular attendee of St Mellion International Golf and Country Club. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t play golf but they have the nicest gym, swimming and leisure facilities that I know of. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also a nice friendly place with polite staff and a relaxed atmosphere. It helps that… Continue reading Parking Theory<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","category-st-mellion","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=113"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":244,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions\/244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.stmellion.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}